Name of the Book: JOY ON DEMAND
Author: - CHADE-MENG TAN
No of Chapters: -07
Number of Pages: - 261
One line Description of the
book: - Practical and Workable
Process Oriented book for Joy in life
Dedicated to:- My wife Shaminder Kaur
What this book is about: -The Book is about how to
be happy with tested and easily adopted methods by the author. Author explains
how anyone can be happy even in the distressful times and can easily uplift the
mind in a second by regular practice. Book is like a flow of river which starts
with one breath exercise, then taking it towards how to uplift the mind in one
second and methods to deal with emotional pain towards the end.
The book starts with introduction,
how author learned to be jolly for fun and profit. Author states that Happiness
is a skill which can be trained like any physical Exercise. Everyone has got a
threshold level of happiness which they eventually return after any big
positive/negative life events. This threshold level of a happiness can be
raised by mind training. Author here shares a study of 2003 indicating that
merely eight weeks of mindfulness training is enough to create significant
changes in the brain.
Author states that joy attained
devoid of any stimulation-like senses or ego is the best form of joy which can be
attained by a three-step process namely Easing into joy, Inclining the mind
toward joy and finally uplifting your mind for joy. Towards the end of chapter, Author cites numerous
benefit of joy like better sleep, joy independent of circumstances, ease of dealing
with difficulties and emotional pain, and lot more. Author also cited a study which indicates that
happiness raises productivity by 31 %,
accuracy on task by 19 %. Happier people are more popular and better at their
jobs (including student life)
First chapter of the book is Joy becomes
you. In this chapter, Author explains various reasons why people are not able
carry out mindfulness training despite lots of benefits of it. Author here mentions non-availability
of time and boredom of process as the main reasons why people are unable to practice
meditation. Author also cites the example
of person named Shinzen who was particularly weak in Maths and Science, later
on with the help of meditation he could be able to learn these two dreaded
subjects with ease. Author here cited his own example of calming the mind on
demand where he was able to calm his mind instantly when delivering the TED
talk at stage. Author also indicates
that mediation improves the charisma and attractiveness of person as he becomes
warmer and kinder toward others.
Second chapter is the starting point of
journey towards the mindfulness training named as Just one Breath. Author explains the problem associated with normal
meditation regimes is that people are not
able to continue exercise is dedication of definite amount of time, lack of
exercise buddies to motivation and boring routine without joy. In the chapter, emphasis is laid into
incorporation of mindfulness training into day-to-day life activities.
One Mindful Breath:- Formal practice
Person can close your eyes or keep them
open. Take one slow, deep breath. For the duration of that one breath, give your
full attention to the breath in a gentle way. Total and gentle attention on
feeling your breath, that is all. Author here cites example of Tennis players
use that to calm mind in 10-15 seconds between two points. Noval Djokovic
confirmed this to be true.
Third chapter is the book is enhancement
of first step of one breath to next level for settling of sustainable joy. In
this chapter, author explains the process of settlement of mind by there methods
namely Anchoring, Resting and Being. Author states that reader can choose any method
that suits them. Each method has some degree of mental stillness and attention
to the present moment, as common factors.
Formal Practice: - How to settle the mind
Timing of Exercise is 5 minutes: -
·
First three minutes on exploring each method for one minute
followed by last two minutes on any one
of the three you like.
·
Setup: Sit in a posture that allows you to be alert and relaxed at
the same time. Eyes can be open or closed.
·
Anchoring (1 minute): - For 1 minute bring attention to
the breath, or the body, or any sensory object that affords the mind some
measure of attentional stability. If attention wanders, gently bring it back.
·
Resting (1 Minute): - For the next minute, rest the
mind by telling yourself “There is nowhere to go and nothing to do, except
rest.”
· Being (1 Minute): - For the next minute, sit without
agenda and experience the present moment.
·
Freestyle (2 Minutes): -For the next two minutes, practice
any of the three methods you like.
Author here also debunks the myth that Meditation
Is Not About Thinking. One of the biggest
misconceptions about meditation is that it involves “emptying your mind of all thoughts “. Meditation is about allowing the
mind to settle on its own terms, in its own time. As per Author, in meditation
we need to balance three mental factors: mental relaxation, mental energy, and
equanimous watching
Fourth Chapter is dedicated towards
inclination of Mind towards joy i.e. how to notice joy in daily life, how to
experience it and how to be part of the same. The key factor in inclination of
mind towards the joy is familiarization with joy. Author shared another analogy
for familiarization by turning joy into a close relative, a favorite family
member or a person you can always rely on to be there for you. To become close with somebody, you welcome the
person into life and spend time with her, treat her with openness.
Author explains the two step process of inclination
of mind towards joy. First and foremost, thing is noticing a moment of joy
around you and second part is attend the joy with full concentration. Author
lays stress of noticing moment of joy in day-to-day life activities, once it
becomes habit then your mind will be easily inclined towards joy.
For the mind to get familiar with joy, first
it must be noticed. So, we must train it to perceive thin slices of joy. In
life, many moments of joy abound, but they are easy to miss because they are
usually fleeting and not super intense. They come in form of small things both
in time and space. We need to train our mind which is simple. For example,
notice the pleasant feeling of warm water on the skin in winter. Taste of good
food, aroma of soap, taste of 1st sip of water when thirsty, etc. Just notice
these simple things.
Attending the Joy:-
Once begin to notice joy, then the next
step is to pay intense attention to joy .Author here explains three sources of
joy of noticing and attending joy in day-to-day life activities.
01.
Type of behaviour involving generosity, loving kindness, and
compassion.
02.
Ethical behaviour is another
one. “Doing the right thing”.
03.
Another source of wholesome joy is attending to pleasant
experiences in your normal everyday activities.
Author also explains the importance of Gratitude
for various things in life and suggests great exercises to attending joy in
your lie.
1.
Spend two minutes daily to scan the world for three things you are grateful
for.
2.
Recall one positive exercise daily
3.
Maintain the gratitude journal and write new things to be grateful
for.
“Someday, I will Die, and Other Happy
Thoughts.”
This chapter also indicates most powerful
though of experiencing joy in life is awareness of mortality. Remembering that
I will be dead soon helps me making big choices in life. Because almost
everything-all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or
failure-these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is
truly important. It is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have
something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your
heart.
Here, Author cites one study that shows, when
you think you have less time on earth, the more likely you derive happiness
from ordinary experience. BBC story titled “Bhutan’s Dark Secret of Happiness”
suggests that people in Bhutan are so happy because they think of death 5 times
a day. This concepts reminds of
character of Rajesh Khanna from Hindi movie
Anand. Movie. This mortality awareness makes it very hard for one to stay angry
at loved one very long.
Informal Practice: - Awareness of
Mortality
At least once in a day, either in the
morning shortly after waking up or in the evening shortly before the sleep, or
anytime in the day, remind yourself of these two things:
·
Someday, I will die. I will die.
·
Every moment is precious.
Author explains the concept that we should
feel the joy when we are healthy. He explains this concept as, to not be in pain is one of the greatest
joys of life. This is true most of the time, but we miss it completely, because
we take it for granted.
Next chapter is dedicated to lifting your
mind in seconds. To uplift the mind in seconds, Author gave a cocktail of three
sublime emotional states: loving kindness, compassion, and altruistic joy. In
this aspect, Author gave a ten second exercise to uplift your mind in seconds:
Identify two human beings in the room and just think, “I wish this person to be
happy, and I wish for this person to be happy.” You don’t say or do anything,
just think. Everybody emerges from this exercise smiling, happier than ten
seconds before. This is the joy of loving kindness.
Another Exercise: Once an hour, every
hour, randomly identify two people walking past your office/home and secretly
wish for each of them to be happy. Don’t say or do anything. Just think, “I
wish for this person to be happy.” Just do it once and go back to work. You can
do the above exercise any time, at any place. If there is no one around, bring
someone to mind for this exercise.
Formal Practice:
·
Sit in alert and relaxed position.
·
Repeat the cycle once per minute.
·
Bring to mind someone for whom you can feel loving kindness.
·
Wish for him/her to be happy.
·
The joy of loving kindness may arise.
·
If it does, pay full attention to it until it fades away.
·
Do this for 3 minutes.
Next emotional state is Compassion, for
which Loving Kindness is a Gateway. In loving kindness, we wish for others to
be happy. In compassion, we wish them to be free from suffering. Compassion is
the happiest mental state ever measured in the history of neuroscience.
Formal Practice: Cultivating Compassion
Through Peace, Joy, and Kindness
·
Setup: - Sit in an alert, relaxed position.
·
Settle the Mind (2-5 minutes): Settle the mind with either
anchoring, resting, or being.
·
Attend to Joy (2-5 minutes): If any joy arises, bring full
attention to it. If necessary, bring up a full smile, or half a smile.
·
Loving Kindness (2-5 minutes): Wish for someone to be happy. If joy
arises, bring full attention to it until it fades away. Repeat it as many times
you like. You can rest in between.
· Compassion (2-5 minutes): Bring to mind anybody who you know is
suffering. Feel his pain. Sadness may arise. If you can experience sadness with
equanimity, do so. Even if there is no equanimity it is OK. If it is
uncomfortable, you can shift attention to the sensations in body. If that is
also uncomfortable, you can stop.
·
Selfless Love (If Any) If at any stage during compassion exercise,
selfless love arises, bring full attention to it. If any joy arises, pay full
attention to it.
·
Closing (2 minutes): End the session by settling the mind for 2
minutes.
Next emotional sublime state in uplifting
the mind in few seconds is altruistic joy. It is a joy derived from the success and
good fortune of others. However, it is hard to cultivate. There is a subset of
altruistic joy that is easy and uplifting, and that is rejoicing in the inner
goodness and altruistic behaviour of the others.
Formal Practice: Uplifting and settling
the mind with Altruistic joy
·
Setup: Sit in an alert and relaxed position.
·
Uplift the Mind (2-5 minutes) Bring to mind one or more people whom
you have brought joy or benefit out of purely altruistic intent. Reflect on
these deed and the good intentions behind them. Or think of similar things done
by those whom you admire.
·
Settle the Mind (5-10 Minutes) Settle the mind with anchoring,
resting, or being. Allow mind to settle on its own.
· Closing (1-2 Minutes)
Close by noticing any joy present, and if so attend to it for one or two
minutes.
Informal Practice:- Rejoicing in inner goodness and altruistic deeds
·
Whenever you make a donation of time or labour, take a moment to
think, “I am doing this out of altruistic intention. It makes me so happy.”
·
Whenever you meet or bring to mind an admirable, inspiring person,
take a moment to think, “We have such wonderful persons in this world, I am so
happy.”
·
Whenever you see somebody performing an altruistic or heroic act,
take a moment to think, “More good is being done in this world, I am so happy.”
Scientific explanation Why these sublime
states are called heart qualities.
Author here gave the scientific explanation
why these sublime states are called heart qualities. In state of kindness or
compassion, vagus nerve of heart gets activated which is responsible for
regulation of heart rate, blood pressure, glucose levels, immune response and
other body functions. Frequent activation of the vagus nerve is good for your
physical health.
An interesting study was conducted by scientists
where in they tried to measure the qualities like compassion, kindness by means
of neurological signals on monks. Monks laughed at scientists, considering them
as silly because monks thought these qualities are function of heart. Later,
during various studies carried out it was observed that compassion is combination
of neurocardiac effect of body.
Next chapter deals with working with
emotional pain. Author explains three step process of dealing with emotional
pain which are attentional step, an affective step, and a cognitive step. These three steps are useful in all situations
involving emotional pain, whether you feel sad, angry, humiliated, betrayed, or
hateful. Sometimes, however, our difficulties are so intense, and emotional
pain is so severe that even these three steps fail. In times like those, we
practice the art of suffering.
Author here explains that it is possible
to experience joy even in the extreme painful circumstances. This is because
peace and joy are default states of mind. They just have to be accessed. The
state is like a moon clouded by emotions. Painful emotions obscure joyful
state, not destroy it.
Author here cited example of Rigoberta
(92 Noble price winner) who had her father burnt alive, mother raped, tortured
before death, brother murdered, lost youngest son, had seen thousands
oppressed, tortured and murdered. She is wise, kind and joyful. She is friendly
to everyone and treats everyone with kindness. Gives people huge smile and warm
hugs. She is bursting with joy. She holds a large amount of pain, but with
courage, equanimity, kindness, compassion and joy. She says that she could
achieve it only through deep spiritual practice.
Joy and pain can coexist. Depending on
which one is strong, the other can be displaced. Rigoberta demonstrated that
joy can become a skilful container of pain, limiting its damage and allowing
the healing process to work. It is like a cast around a body part with
fracture.
Willingness to Experience Emotional Pain
Author here explained the four step
process of dealing with emotion pain in the body.
The first is to clearly perceive that
these emotions are just unpleasant sensations in the body. The sensation leads
to perception which leads to aversion, which in turn leads to suffering. This
is the most important insight. Therefore, to reduce suffering, we must attack
aversion. By reducing aversion, we reduce suffering, although, sensation and
perception of emotional pain may remain. The third step is apply the first
antidote to aversion: loving kindness. By seeing painful emotion as bodily
sensation and then applying loving kindness both to the emotion and the self,
one begins to soothe the pain.
The fourth and final step is to apply
equanimity. Just watching the sensations in the body, every now and then, I
remind myself, they are simply sensations in my body-these emotions are not me.
In
this chapter, Author also explained the concept of failure in life which comes
preinstalled in everyone’s life.
Last chapter of the book deals with effect
of mindfulness training beyond the worldly pleasures. Here, Author explains the
next stage in meditation wherein we have to abandon the effort to carry out
meditation. Author explains that a large percentage of our suffering comes from
the sense of I, myself, and mine, all of which originate from the sense of a
solid, substantial self, so once the sense of self is realized to be a process
that is completely mind generated, then a lot of suffering goes away or is
greatly reduced.
Chapter also deals in details about the
importance of letting go in meditation. When I let go of dependence on sensory
pleasure, I experienced the joy of ease. When I let go of some meaningful
amount of anger and resentment, I experienced joy of goodwill. When I let go of
my compulsion to feel the unpleasant feeing related to my failure, I
experienced the joy of confidence. This is joy of freedom- from want, anxiety,
ego and resentment.
Brilliant insights from the book:-
1.
Success leads to happiness and happiness leads to joy is lesser
meaning as compared to actual one i.e. Joy leads to happiness and happiness
leads to success.
2.
Wealth is a personality multiplier. A philanthropic person can
become more philanthropic and Unkinder person becomes unkinder.
3.
Meditation is not about
emptying your mind of all thought.
4.
Meditation is similar to cooking which involves skilful management
of energy.
5.
What we do not notice, we cannot see, and what we don’t see we
can’t understand.
6.
Noticing that you are not in pain can be a joy itself.
7.
Don’t Stop and don’t Strain: - Principle for life
8. Someday, every single person I love dearly will die. They will all
die. Every moment I have with them is precious.
Final Thoughts :- This is one of the best book that
deals with mindfulness training in a easy and practicable way. This
book offers valuable insights into how individuals can cultivate joy at will,
reduce stress, and lead more fulfilling lives. Book is a must read for everyone
to achieve calmness in mind in day to day pressure situations
Buy it Here
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